Let the undernoted hereby be proclaimed as the circumstances under which I will gig:
- The interval between sets be no longer than the duration of a set. If sets be of differing lengths, the interval to be no longer than the duration of the shorter set. And:
- The cumulative time of each set to be longer than my cumulative journey time to the gig. And:
- There be no entry fee for the players. And:
- There be a bass player. (The bass player can be me if either a) I have song veto on grounds of competence or b) I have sufficient time before the gig to learn the nightmare songs. In the case of b) one drink or food item - at my discretion - to be bought for me per song.) And:
- I maintain the right to add further self-important criteria on a whim.